It’s no secret that Pokemon is a game of quirks and unexpected delights. But sometimes it can get downright weird. All Pokemon can learn skills, that’s why we train them. And these skills can make or break their game. There are thousands of Pokemon and hundreds of moves they can learn which makes for a truly astounding number of combinations. And most of them make sense logically and physiologically.

But some moves are just absolutely nonsensical! They don’t fit the Pokemon, they don’t work in the game… If you have found a legit use for any of these skills let us know! We love to be proved wrong – it’s a part of the scientific process. Otherwise, just read on and enjoy the absolute absurdity.

SHEDINJA: SUBSTITUTE

Shedinja is already a very, shall we say, gimmicky Pokemon. Its “Wonder Gaurd” ability protects it from almost any attack but it also only has one hitpoint. This can be a fun build to play with, but it also makes for some very strange interactions with different moves and their effects.

Substitute, however, has to be the weirdest choice available for this Pokemon. Substitute allows the Pokemon to create a decoy that takes all of the opponent’s attacks. But to make it, you have to spend your Pokemon’s HP – and Shedinja only has one hitpoint! Absolute silliness.

SMALL POKEMON: FLY

We all love the tiny Pokemon – they’re so cute! Pidgey, Hoothoot, Pikipek, and Zubat – all the size of a human’s hand at most and absolutely precious. Now that we’ve noted their size…why are these Pokemon able to learn “Fly” as a skill?? There is NO way those baby birds would be able to lift a 10-year-old into the sky! And not only lift them – but carry them long distances! Not to mention, some of them don’t even have claws or feet! HOW ARE THEY HOLDING ON TO THE TRAINERS?!

It’s madness. Adorable, ridiculous, Pokemon madness.

WOOPER AND GHASTLY: PUNCHING MOVES

Now this one really gets us. I mean, absolute, on-the-floor giggles. Now, we love us a punching move. Ice Punch, Drain Punch, Dynamic Punch, Mach Punch – all the punches. But please explain to us how Wooper is able to learn Dynamic Punch, Ice Punch, and Power-Up Punch?

You’ve seen Wooper right? He’s the little blue Pokemon with antennae antlers…and he HAS NO ARMS. No arms! With what is he punching, pray tell? We’re giggling now just imagining it. Poor little guy. Someone has to tell him!

And before you tell us he’s using his feet or his tail… please note that Ghastly is also able to learn punch moves! He is a LITERAL ball of gas. So explain that one to us!

ZUBAT: MEAN LOOK

First of all… can we talk about how much we love that there is a move called “Mean Look”? And it’s exactly what it sounds like. A second-generation Normal-type move, the description says the Pokemon using Mean Look will “stare or pin the target with a dark, arresting look.” Mean mugging to the max!

But now let’s talk about the Pokemon who can arrest you with his gaze – without eyes! Now THAT is a talent! Zubat is such a boss. Imagine glaring menacingly without eyes. Go on! Imagine it. Ridiculous.

CRYOGONAL: ATTRACT

Now this one just feels a little tone-deaf and sad, but it must be mentioned. Attract can be a powerful move that immobilizes your opponent 50% of the time because they are shook to their core by love. But in order for the move to work, it must be used on a Pokemon of the opposite gender (sigh). It fails if used on same-gender or genderless Pokemon.

If this is so, please tell us why Cryogonal – a genderless, crystal ball – can learn Attract?? What is the point?! It will fail literally every time because there is no opposite gender to “genderless”! Poor Cryogonal. They just want to be loved!

There are literally dozens – if not hundreds – more move combinations that just do not work. They range from frustrating to hilarious, and we guess it’s bound to happen in such a large game. If you find a particularly good one, drop by the store and tell us about it!

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